Hilarious Jokes About Inspirational Quotes: A Witty Collection to Brighten Your Day

"It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not."

- Mignon McLaughlin

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

- Oprah Winfrey

"When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.'"

- Groucho Marx

"There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends."

- Sylvia Plath

"We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits."

- William Somerset Maugham

"'Best friend' isn’t a person—it’s a tier."

- Mindy Kaling

"Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with."

- Robert Brault

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one!"

- C.S. Lewis

"A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad."

- Arnold H. Glasgow

"If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal."

- Oprah Winfrey

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."

- Linda Grayson

"You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal."

- Elizabeth Taylor

"A true friend is someone that thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."

- Bernard Meltzer

"Friendship is like money—easier made than kept."

- Samuel Butler

"Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion."

- Tina Fey

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

- Henry Kissinger

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

- Douglas Adams

"What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

"I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

- Jim Carrey

"The road to success is always under construction."

- Lily Tomlin

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

- Dodgeball

"Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that."

- George Carlin

"No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early."

- Groucho Marx

"Today is a good day to try."

- The Hunchback of Notre Dame

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."

- Vince Lombardi

"Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood."

- Bill Murray

"Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it."

- Katharine Whitehorn

"Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there."

- Josh Billings

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all."

- Sam Ewing

"Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring."

- Steve Maraboli

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"

- Marvin Phillips

"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment."

- Robert Benchley

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."

- Zig Ziglar

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

- Ferris Bueller

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

"Why, sometimes I’ve believed six impossible things before breakfast."

- Alice in Wonderland

"If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer."

- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

"Please. Have mercy. I’ve been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday."

- Planes, Trains and Automobiles

"My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get."

- Forrest Gump

"Well, nobody’s perfect."

- Some Like It Hot

"I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere."

- Van Wilder, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

"Just keep swimming."

- Finding Nemo

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

- Thomas Edison

"If you’re going through hell, keep going."

- Winston Churchill

"Your most important work is always ahead of you, never behind you."

- Stephen Covey

"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

- Ron White

"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have."

- Roger Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

"Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube."

- Joan Rivers

"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."

- Erich Segal

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age."

- Lucille Ball

"Love is a two-way street constantly under construction."

- Carroll Bryant

"Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then, by all means, follow that path."

- Ellen DeGeneres

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."

- Jules Renard

"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs... one step at a time."

- Joe Girard

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

- Lemony Snicket

"The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing."

- Blaise Pascal

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."

- Reba McEntire

"When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'"

- Sydney J. Harris

"Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache."

- Mae West

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

- Dolly Parton

"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"

- Lily Tomlin

"When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it."

- Theodore Roosevelt

"You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."

- Henry Youngman

"When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life."

- Richard Lewis

"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily."

- Zig Ziglar

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in."

- Richard Jeni

"I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

"Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police."

- Robert Louis Stevenson

"There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate."

- Barack Obama

"It ain’t over til it’s over."

- Yogi Berra

"I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road."

- Stephen Hawking

"You can always tell a real friend: When you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job."

- Laurence J. Peter

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

- Mae West

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

- Mark Twain

"My favorite thing to do on this planet is to play games. And if you don’t enjoy games, then you’re really missing the point of what this life is."

- RuPaul

"Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos."

- Stanley Hudson

"Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!"

- Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants

"Your soul is like your appendix—I don’t even use it!"

- Michael Kelso

"What am I scared of? I’m scared of the same thing that you are: everything."

- George Costanza

"I’m a bit of a sucker for second chances. They’re my first favorite kind of chance."

- Jessica Day, New Girl

"Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV."

- Morty

"Why can’t parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?"

- Rachel Green

"We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third."

- Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation

"Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I’ll find it along the way."

- Michael Scott

"I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

- Chandler Bing

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems."

- Homer Simpson

"I don’t make the rules, ma’am. I just think them up and write them down."

- Eric Cartman

"All life ends in death, which we, as a species, are cursed with knowing. Resulting in … something. Again, this is really not my field."

- Ian Duncan

"Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over."

- Lois, Malcolm in the Middle

"No thank you, I prefer to get high on life."

- Millie Kentner

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life."

- Andy Dwyer, Parks and Recreation

"I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning."

- George Costanza, Seinfeld

"Here’s some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it’s Shark Week."

- Tracy Jordan

"If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."

- Jerry Seinfeld

"I would do anything for my friends, which I think is how everyone in the world feels. Which is why I finally understand war."

- Jeff Winger, Community

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

- Oscar Wilde

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."

- Dave Barry

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work."

- Robert Orben

"If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock."

- Claude MacDonald

"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."

- Robert Downey Jr.

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

- Winnie the Pooh

"Criticism is the best sign you’re onto something."

- Michael Lopp

"There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do."

- Amy Poehler

"Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."

- Tom Lehrer

"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open."

- Frank Zappa

"Don’t be so humble — you are not that great."

- Golda Meir

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."

- Albert Einstein

"The best revenge is massive success."

- Frank Sinatra

"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."

- Phyllis Diller

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."

- Mike Tyson

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

- Mark Twain

"You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."

- Jack London

"You will find the key to success under the alarm clock."

- Benjamin Franklin

"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."

- Bill Murray

"When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

- Ron White

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone."

- Reba McEntire

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."

- George Carlin

"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself."

- Ethel Barrymore

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."

- James Branch Cabell

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well."

- Mark Twain

"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."

- Benjamin Franklin

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

- Will Rogers

"It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong."

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito."

- Dalai Lama

"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

- Oscar Wilde

"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."

- Robert Frost

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."

- Douglas Adams

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

- George Carlin

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

- Mark Twain

"When you’re good at something, you’ll tell everyone. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you."

- Walter Payton

"An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. An office is a place where dreams come true."

- Michael Scott

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."

- Rita Mae Brown

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

- Douglas Adams

"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."

- Bill Gates

"When I was growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific."

- Lily Tomlin

"I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues."

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey

"By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me."

- Miranda Priestly

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

- Mark Twain

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

- Edward Bergen

"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."

- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early."

- Groucho Marx

"It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

- Muhammad Ali

"Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping."

- Bo Derek

"Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas."

- Paula Poundstone

"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’"

- Don Marquis

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."

- Katharine Hepburn

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

- Bryan White

"Even a stopped clock is right twice every day."

- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

"I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying."

- Oscar Wilde

"A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory."

- Mark Twain

"Trying is the first step toward failure."

- Homer Simpson

"It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work."

- William Faulkner

"If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’"

- Dave Barry

"If you can’t be kind, at least be vague."

- Judith Martin

"It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office."

- Shirley MacLaine

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

- Charles Lamb

"Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow."

- Don Herold

"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day."

- Robert Frost

"If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it."

- George Burns

"Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished."

- Leslie Nielsen

"If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

- W.C. Fields

"When in doubt, look intelligent."

- Garrison Keillor

"Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night."

- Jason Love

"Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia."

- Charles Schulz

"I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

- Jerome K. Jerome

"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."

- Billie Burke

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it."

- Mae West

"My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’"

- Rose Nylund

"A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey."

- Dolly Parton

"If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck."

- Elvis Presley

"A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain."

- Graham Norton

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

- Phyllis Diller

"Bad decisions make good stories."

- Ellis Vidler

"I’m in shape. Round is a shape."

- George Carlin

"Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat."

- Harry Emerson Fosdick

"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman."

- Margaret Thatcher

"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I am wise and I have worms."

- Michael Scott

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous."

- Robert Benchley

"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."

- Groucho Marx

"I cannot afford to waste my time making money."

- Louis Agassiz

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back."

- Oscar Wilde

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

- Lily Tomlin

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."

- Charles M. Schulz

"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment."

- Robert Benchley

"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."

- Franklin P. Jones

"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter."

- John Gotti

"A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright."

- Lucille Ball

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

- Fran Lebowitz

"Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them."

- Dick Van Dyke

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway."

- Edna Buchanan

"Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together."

- Napoleon Hill

""You tried your best and you failed. The lesson is: never try.""

- RoboWonder

"The message of 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' is that your individuality will be mocked and shunned until it proves useful."

- Zoomulator

"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane."

- Philip K. Dick

"My health teacher back in high school used to frequently say “Life’s a bitch and then you die.”"

- zray312

"In my experience, it’s more like, life’s a bitch and you go on living."

- SnooChipmunks126

"Don't follow your friends off a bridge; lead them. This would have been my high school yearbook quote, had they accepted it."

- SignificantView1671

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is probably not for you"

- Burritozi11a

"If at first you don't succeed, try try again. But then stop, because there's no point in making a fool of yourself."

- KhaoticMess

"I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back."

- Jimmy Kimmel

"As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two."

- Norman Wisdom

"People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys."

- Mike Bechtle

"Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’"

- Steven Wright

"Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!"

- Charlie Brown

"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass."

- Sophia Petrillo

"I’m not crazy — I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

- Ouiser Boudreaux

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

- Elbert Hubbard

"a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy."

- Jerry Seinfeld

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."

- Theodore Roosevelt

"You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police."

- Joan Rivers

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome."

- Isaac Asimov

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."

- Redd Foxx

"Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours."

- Yogi Berra

"I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else."

- George Carlin

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

- Lucille Ball

"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese."

- Luis Buñuel

"It must be around forty, when you’re “over the hill.” I don’t even know what that means and why it’s a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I’m past the hard part and there’s a snack in my future. That’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned."

- Ellen DeGeneres

"Death is nature’s way of saying, “Your table is ready.”"

- Robin Williams

"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am."

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick."

- George Burns

"Nobody told you what a drag it was, getting older. Or at least, people did tell you, but you ignored them, because they were old."

- Mick Herron

"There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it."

- Mindy Kaling

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

- Steve Martin

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

- Noel Coward

"It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of ‘Law & Order’ in my apartment."

- John Mulaney

"My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne."

- Tina Fey

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

- Bill Watterson

"Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me — I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing...I’m booked."

- The Grinch

"When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands."

- Larry David

"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me."

- Garry Shandling

"Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family."

- Bo Bennett

"From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge."

- Jarod Kintz

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."

- Edgar Allan Poe

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with a------s."

- William Gibson

"My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting-around time."

- Maria Bamford

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."

- James Branch Cabell

"Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?"

- Lillian Donovan

"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper."

- Quentin Crisp

"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places."

- Rodney Dangerfield

"Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path."

- Ellen DeGeneres

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

- Jack Handey

"Remember: every corpse on Mt. Everest was once a motivated person."

- InkIcan

"Just because you’re special, doesn’t mean you’re useful"

- boredmainah

""This is the worst day of my life" "The worst day of your life SO FAR""

- SuspiciousChair8918

"You want to get out of the hole? First you’re going to have to put down the shovel."

"If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you."

"The early worm gets eaten by the bird."

"The early worm gets eaten."

""People you hate are like slinkys they're not good for anything but you cracked a smile when you push them down a flight of stairs." "When life gives you lemons call them yellow limes and sell them for double the price." "Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it's fake." "I can't fuck it up if I don't do it in the first place.""

"Whenever I’m about to give up, I remind myself the world would be a better place without me and I simply cannot let that happen."

"Trying is the first step to failing!"

""No one is as dumb as all of us together" In my experience, this is the truth. A camel is a horse built by committee."

""Don't forget, you're here forever""

"Live slow. Die whenever."

"The light at the end of the tunnel might be an oncoming train."

"It's never too late to give up."

"I feel like this is a Pratchett thing?"