“I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.”
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Love
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Self-awareness
"I hailed from a tough neighborhood. I was once attacked by a man with a knife. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Courage
"My uncle's dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Adversity
"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Creativity
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
- Vince Lombardi
Well-being
"Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!"
- Charlie Brown
Well-being
"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass."
- Sophia Petrillo
Well-being
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben
Well-being
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter."
- John Gotti
Well-being