Hilarious and Inspirational: The Ultimate Collection of Funny Workplace Quotes

### Laugh and Get Inspired: A Perfect Blend for Your Workday Work can be challenging, but a good laugh paired with inspiration can make all the difference. This blog post brings you a curated collection of funny and motivational quotes that perfectly capture the quirks and realities of the workplace. ### Why These Quotes Matter From witty observations by Bill Gates and Groucho Marx to humorous takes by modern comedians, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective on work, motivation, and success. Whether you're stuck in a meeting or facing a tough deadline, these sayings will lift your spirits and remind you that humor is a powerful tool in any professional setting. ### Share the Joy Feel free to share these quotes with your colleagues or use them to brighten your own day. They’re not just funny; they’re insightful reminders that sometimes, the best way to tackle work is with a smile and a bit of laughter.

Wisdom from the Masters

""I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.""

- Michael Scott

Motivation

""Working hard is important. But there is something that matters more, believing yourself.""

- Harry Potter

Belief in Self

"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment."

- Robert Benchley

Awareness

"I don’t want to work. I just want to bang on this mug all day."

- Michael Scott, The Office

Contentment

""The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.""

- Ayn Rand

Determination

"If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either."

- James Johnson

Adversity

""Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.""

- Sherrilyn Kenyon

Resilience

"Friday is like a green light; you speed up until after work and start to slow down once the light turns yellow."

- El Fuego

Happiness

""Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.""

- Les Brown

Motivation

""You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.""

- Ethel Barrymore

Self-awareness

""Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.""

- Merida

Bravery

""Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.""

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage

""Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.""

- Dr. Seuss

Self-confidence

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

- Robert Frost

Awareness

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."

- Reba McEntire

Motivation

"Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really."

- Arthur Darvill

Contentment

"Ah, Mondays. Careful, or you’ll kill me with enthusiasm."

- Garfield

Motivation

"I can’t believe it’s Monday again. It feels like it was just Monday yesterday."

- Andy Bernard, The Office

Awareness

"Monday is like a vase—you shatter it with one wrong move."

- Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation

Balance

"Even the calendar says WTF after Monday and Tuesday."

- Taylor Hanson

Awareness

"Cheer up, you only have 1924 Mondays ‘til retirement."

- Garfield

Optimism

"If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays."

- John Wagner

Positivity

"On Monday morning, I look forward fearlessly to Friday’s eve."

- Ellen Wittlinger

Motivation

"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided."

- Mark Twain

Philosophy

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."

- Don Marquis

Time Management

"If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer."

- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Joy

"I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters."

- Frank Lloyd Wright

Boldness

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it."

- Franklin P. Jones

Awareness

"Fridays are the hardest in some ways: You’re so close to freedom."

- Lauren Oliver

Motivation

"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."

- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Well-being

"Fridays are the reason we work so hard during the week."

- David Cottrell

Motivation

"The only happy ending I know it’s the weekEND!"

- Giovannie de Sadeleer

Joy

""If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.""

- African proverb

Inspiration

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey

Adversity

"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."

- Bill Gates

Efficiency

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."

- Will Rogers

Determination

""Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.""

- Charles Bukowski

Resilience

"Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you."

- Zig Ziglar

Motivation

"Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work."

- David Ogilvy

Motivation

""Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.""

- Vaclav Havel

Self-awareness

"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily."

- Zig Ziglar

Motivation

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

- Thomas Edison

Hard Work

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there."

- Josh Billings

Persistence

"Many of life’s failures are experiences by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

- Thomas Edison

Persistence

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great."

- Mark Twain

Motivation

"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard."

- Tim Notke

Hard Work

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."

- Vince Lombardi

Well-being

"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

- Oscar Wilde

Well-being

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

- George Carlin

Well-being

"Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then, by all means, follow that path."

- Ellen DeGeneres

Ambition

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

- Edward Bergen

Hard Work

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

- Winnie the Pooh

Positivity

""There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.""

- Amy Poehler

Bravery

""The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.""

- Joe Girard

Perseverance

""The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?""

- Captain Jack Sparrow

Mindfulness

"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

- Jerome K. Jerome

Motivation

""Do or do not. There is no try.""

- Yoda

Determination

""Oh, yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.""

- Rafiki

Personal Growth

""After a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are.""

- Shrek

Self-confidence

""There comes a day when you’re gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are.""

- Chief Tui

Happiness

""When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.""

- Ron White

Positivity

"If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock."

- Claude MacDonald

Hard Work

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

- Robert Orben

Motivation

"Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs."

- Mary Kay Ash

Efficiency

"If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."

- Albert Einstein

Wisdom

"If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday."

- Noel Coward

Motivation

""You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.""

- Sam Levenson

Learning from Mistakes

"Oh! It’s Friday again. Share the love that was missing during the week. In a worthy moment of peace and bliss."

- S. O’ Sade

Happiness

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."

- Homer Simpson

Aspirations

""You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.""

- Robin Williams

Motivation

"It’s Aloha Friday, no work ’til Monday."

- Kimo Kahoano and Paul Natto

Contentment

""Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.""

- William James

Wisdom

"It’s always difficult to keep Fridays confined within themselves… they tend to spill over."

- Kai Sinclair

Balance

"When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it."

- Theodore Roosevelt

Motivation

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey

Happiness

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

- Charles Lamb

Well-being

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

- Douglas Adams

Time Management

"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day."

- Robert Frost

Hard Work

"The road to success is always under construction."

- Lily Tomlin

Success

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work."

- Robert Orben

Well-being

""Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.""

- Thomas Edison

Hard Work

""To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.""

- Reba McEntire

Success

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!"

- Marvin Phillips

Motivation

"Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion."

- Tina Fey

Self-confidence

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all."

- Sam Ewing

Motivation

"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time."

- Joe Girard

Success

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."

- Sam Ewing

Hard Work

"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."

- Robert Frost

Hard Work

"Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there."

- Josh Billings

Determination

"Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that."

- George Carlin

Motivation

"Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow."

- Don Herold

Time Management

"The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job."

- Slappy White

Awareness

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

- Mark Twain

Well-being

""If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.""

- Margaret Thatcher

Motivation

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

- Mae West

Contentment

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

- Scott Adams

Inspiration

"People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do."

- Elbert Hubbard

Motivation

"What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

Happiness

""A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.""

- Frank Zappa

Awareness

""Well-behaved women seldom make history.""

- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Empowerment

""Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.""

- Ellen DeGeneres

Wisdom

""To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.""

- Steven Wright

Creativity

""If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.""

- Phyllis Diller

Joy

"It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you."

- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Teamwork

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

- Bertrand Russell

Awareness

"Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done."

- Peter Drucker

Efficiency

""I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.""

- Lily Tomlin

Self-awareness

""Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.""

- Mark Twain

Education

""All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.""

- Mark Twain

Success

""Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.""

- Timothy Leary

Ambition

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it."

- Mae West

Balance

""Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.""

- Ann Bradford

Self-confidence

"The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished."

- Groucho Marx

Motivation

""People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.""

- A.A. Milne

Contentment

"People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it."

- Joey Adams

Hard Work

""By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.""

- Robert Frost

Hard Work

"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."

- Leo Durocher

Motivation

"The reward for good work is more work."

- Francesca Elisia

Hard Work

""Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.""

- Robert Downey Jr.

Self-confidence

"Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work."

- Earl Nightingale

Leadership

""It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.""

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Efficiency

""When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.""

- Robert Bresson

Inspiration

""The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.""

- Mark Twain

Compassion

"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'"

- Don Marquis

Hard Work

"Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?"

- J. Paul Getty

Awareness

""A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.""

- Willy Wonka

Happiness

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

- Mark Twain

Well-being

""Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.""

- Anaïs Nin

Courage

"No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early."

- Groucho Marx

Motivation

"A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job."

- Zig Ziglar

Motivation

"I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around."

- Homer Simpson

Motivation

""I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.""

- Will Rogers

Positivity

"It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong."

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Efficiency

"I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, 'Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.'"

- Chris Rock

Awareness

""If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.""

- Billy Wilder

Creativity

""Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.""

- Lord Byron

Well-being

"Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright."

- Anonymous

Teamwork

"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"

- Kin Hubbard

Success

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so."

- Douglas Adams

Motivation

"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."

- Sarah Brown

Success

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

- Lily Tomlin

Self-awareness

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it."

- Groucho Marx

Integrity

"If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"

- Dave Barry

Awareness

""Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.""

- Elbert Hubbard

Contentment

"Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say."

- Andy Stanley

Leadership

""I’m in shape. Round is a shape.""

- George Carlin

Self-confidence

"Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance."

- Sir Claus Moser

Education

"Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you didn’t have a plan."

- Larry Winget

Personal Growth

"I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying."

- Rita Rudner

Self-awareness

"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done."

- Sam Ewing

Motivation

"My son is now an 'entrepreneur.' That's what you're called when you don't have a job."

- Ted Turner

Motivation

"Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day."

- Ed Bernard

Balance

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

- Steven Wright

Motivation

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

- Henry Kissinger

Motivation

"Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood."

- Bill Murray

Motivation

"Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it."

- Katharine Whitehorn

Goals

"Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring."

- Steve Maraboli

Motivation

""Aspire to inspire before we expire.""

- Eugene Bell Jr.

Inspiration

""People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.""

- Zig Ziglar

Motivation

"When I was growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific."

- Lily Tomlin

Well-being

""If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.""

- Dodgeball

Courage

""You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?""

- Steven Wright

Philosophy

"Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished."

- Leslie Nielsen

Motivation

"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."

- John Gotti

Motivation

"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."

- David Letterman

Motivation

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."

- Charlie McCarthy

Ambition

"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

- Muhammad Ali

Bravery

"Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free."

- Anonymous

Teamwork

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."

- Fats Domino

Awareness

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

- Henny Youngman

Balance

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!"

- Anonymous

Hard Work

"The taxpayer—that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."

- Ronald Reagan

Awareness

"It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleges and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."

- Alan Alda

Awareness

"I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams."

- Anonymous

Adversity

"If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work."

- Woody Allen

Awareness

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."

- Groucho Marx

Relationships

"An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault."

- William Castle

Learning

""Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.""

- Charles J. Sykes

Motivation

""Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.""

- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Philosophy

""If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?""

- Albert Einstein

Reflection

""Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.""

- Oscar Wilde

Wisdom

""People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.""

- Will Rogers

Self-awareness

""When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.""

- Cathy Guisewite

Boldness

""A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.""

- Bob Hope

Wisdom

""Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.""

- Tom Lehrer

Philosophy

""It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.""

- Benjamin Dover

Mindfulness

""A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.""

- Mark Twain

Reflection

""Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.""

- Voltaire

Resilience

""I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more of they get older; then it dawned on me they are cramming for their final exam.""

- George Carlin

Reflection

""We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.""

- Bryan White

Personal Growth

""If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.""

- Yogi Berra

Philosophy

""Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.""

- George Burns

Happiness

""My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.""

- Dave Barry

Happiness

""Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.""

- Charles Schulz

Positivity

""Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.""

- Jeffree Star

Self-esteem

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

- Steve Martin

Nature

"I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

- Chandler Bing

Happiness

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

- Ogden Nash

Awareness

""Be happy, it drives people crazy.""

- Paulo Coelho

Positivity

""The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.""

- Terry Pratchett

Awareness

"Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired."

- Michel Tournier

Awareness

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."

- Scott Adams

Creativity

"Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers."

- Proverb 10:26

Hard Work

"Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid."

- Phil Pastoret

Awareness

""The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.""

- Bill Watterson

Wisdom

""The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.""

- Andy Rooney

Wisdom

""Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.""

- Terry Pratchett

Creativity

""A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.""

- Lucille Ball

Wisdom

""If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.""

- Irish Proverbs

Reflection

""You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.""

- Sam Levenson

Wisdom

"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."

- Pauline Thomason

Love

"True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway."

- Edna Buchanan

Relationships

""Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.""

- Phyllis Diller

Reflection

""If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.""

- Elvis Presley

Reflection

""Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.""

- Franklin P. Jones

Reflection

"Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."

- Anonymous

Awareness

""Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.""

- Dick Van Dyke

Wisdom

""Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.""

- Harry Emerson Fosdick

Reflection

""Bad decisions make good stories.""

- Ellis Vidler

Reflection

"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

- Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Philosophy

Bite-sized Inspirational Quotes

"I have to be successful because I like expensive things."

Ambition

""When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say ‘Why me?’, say ‘Try me’.""

Motivation

"I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday."

Motivation

"My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck."

- Unknown

Motivation

"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure."

Success

"Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon."

Motivation

""Be that kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor every morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap she’s up’.”"

Motivation

"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF."

Wisdom

""Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.""

Motivation

""Some people are like clouds: when they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.""

Wisdom

""When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.""

Wisdom

""Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll laugh at you.""

Positivity

""You can’t always control who walks into your life, but you can control which window you throw them out.""

Boldness

""Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.""

Positivity

"My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work."

Motivation