I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

Love

"I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

Love

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry."

- Rita Rudner

Love

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

Love

"Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, 'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed me up and said, 'Go beg for it.' I didn't know what to do! I'd knock on people's doors and go, 'Trick or treat.' 'No thank you.'"

- Rita Rudner

Awareness

More Self-awareness Quotes

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"Beauty is not about physical perfection, but about authenticity and confidence."

- Beauty and the Beast

Self-awareness

"Beauty is found in the unique qualities that make us who we are."

- Beauty and the Beast

Self-awareness

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

- Lily Tomlin

Self-awareness

"Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears."

- Laird Hamilton

Self-awareness

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."

Self-awareness