The Ultimate Collection of Office Inspirational Quotes — Funny, Wise, and Shareable

"'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.'"

- Michael Scott

"I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them."

- Andy Bernard

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

- Andy Bernard

"There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?"

- Pam Beesly

"The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends."

- Michael Scott

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them."

- Andy Bernard

"My future is not going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It’s going to be determined by two big black balls. I control my destiny. I do."

- Darryl

"People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy."

- Michael Scott

"Everything I have I owe to this job… this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job."

- Jim Halpert

"There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?"

- Pam Beesly

"Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith."

- Jim Halpert

"And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."

- Michael Scott

"There are always a million reasons not to do something"

- SweelFor-

"Everyday when i come to work, all i wanted to do was leave. So why in the world, does it feel so hard to leave now?"

- Darryl

"There are always a million reasons not to do something."

- Jan Levinson

"Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing."

- Michael Scott

"Whether you're scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don't be. It's going to be OK."

- Michael Scott

"Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order."

- Michael Scott

"would I Rather Be Feared Or Loved? Easy. Both. I Want People To Be Afraid Of How Much They Love Me."

- Michael Scott

"I have a dream, and it's not some MLK dream of equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press and launch that lighthouse into space."

- Stanley Hudson

"Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die."

- Stanley Hudson

"I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day."

- Stanley Hudson

"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."

- Michael Scott

"When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that."

- Pam Beesley

"I'm totally fine. Everything is going to be totally fine."

- Pam Beesly

"I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working."

- Michael Scott

"Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way, like an improv conversation....an improversation."

- Michael Scott

"You need to play to win. But you also need to win to play."

- Michael Scott

"Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."

- Michael Scott

"I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers."

- Michael Scott

"I have a warm blanket and several cozy pillows. I read a chapter of a book and then it's lights out by 8:30. That's how I sleep at night."

- Angela Martin

"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday."

- Michael Scott

"It’s true. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die."

- Stanley Hudson

"Why waste time use lot word when few word do trick?"

- Kevin Malone

"whenever I'm About To Do Something, I Think, 'would An Idiot Do That?' And If They Would, I Do Not Do That Thing."

- Dwight Schrute

"sometimes I'll Start A Sentence And I Don't Even Know Where It's Going. I Just Hope I Find It Along The Way."

- Michael Scott

"I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good."

- Michael Scott

"Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat."

- Dwight Schrute

"Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick."

- Kevin Malone

"And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight."

- Pam Beesly

"and I Knew Exactly What To Do. But In A Much More Real Sense, I Had No Idea What To Do."

- Michael Scott

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

- Michael Scott

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted."

- Kevin Malone, “The Office”

"My philosophy is basically this, and this is something I live by, and always have, and always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, no matter what... ever, for any reason whatsoever."

- Michael Scott

"I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream."

- Michael Scott

"I think you’re under-thinking it."

- Jim Halpert

"I think you’re over-thinking it."

- Michael Scott

"It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave."

- Stanley Hudson

"Worth it."

- Jim Halpert

"Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way."

- Michael Scott

"I am Beyoncé, always."

- Michael Scott

"i Am Beyoncé, Always."

- Michael Scott

"Me think, why waste time say lot word when few word do trick."

- Kevin Malone

"I feel God in this Chili’s tonight."

- Pam Beesley

"I’m such a perfectionist that I'd kinda rather not do it at all than do a crappy version."

- Ryan Howard

"Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?"

- Kelly Kapoor

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going."

- Michael Scott

"Chillax."

- Michael Scott

"I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms."

- Michael Scott

"I don't care what they say about me, I just wanna eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party."

- Pam Beesly

"You guys I’m, like, really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, ‘Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah...’"

- Kelly Kapoor

"Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three."

- Michael Scott

"I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."

- Michael Scott

"Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them...or he quits because they are unfair."

- Andy Bernard

"I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

- Michael Scott

"I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out."

- Kelly Kapoor

"i Am Fast. To Give You A Reference Point I Am Somewhere Between A Snake And A Mongoose… And A Panther."

- Dwight Schrute

"If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too."

- Ryan Howard

"I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

- Michael Scott

"wikipedia Is The Best Thing Ever. Anyone In The World Can Write Anything They Want About Any Subject. So You Know You Are Getting The Best Possible Information."

- Michael Scott

"Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for."

- Kelly Kapoor

"Darrell Philbin is the most complicated man I've ever met. I mean...who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?"

- Kelly Kapoor

"Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos."

- Stanley Hudson

"it Just Seems Awfully Mean. But Sometimes, The Ends Justify The Mean."

- Michael Scott

"I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical... But smack talk is happening like right now."

- Kelly Kapoor

"Oh, I don’t think it’s blackmail. Angela just does what I ask her to do, so I won’t tell everyone that she’s cheating on Andy with Dwight."

- Phyllis Vance

"Do the thing that you're unwilling to do but that you know you need to do."

- Stefanos

"if You Pray Enough, You Can Change Yourself Into A Cat Person."

- Angela Martin

"i Just Want To Lie On The Beach And Eat Hot Dogs. That's All I've Ever Wanted."

- Kevin Malone

"For my new year's resolution, I gave up drinking...during the week."

- Meredith Palmer

"We didn’t play many video games in Scranton. Instead, we’d do stuff like… uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it 'Pretendinitus.'"

- Jim Halpert

"I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible."

- Michael Scott

"Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it… pretendinitis."

- Jim Halpert

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs."

- Kevin Malone

"I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader."

- Creed Bratton

"I, understand — nothing."

- Michael Scott

"i Declare Bankruptcy!"

- Michael Scott

"Healing begins when we traverse the dark corners of our psyche, face our fears, and step into a life of radical transparency and self-acceptance."

- Stefanos

"I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. One stunning, gorgeous cartwheel."

- Creed Bratton

"disposable Cameras Are Fun Although It Does Seem Wasteful And You Don't Ever Get To See Your Pictures."

- Erin Hannon

"i'm Not Superstitious But I'm A Little Stitious."

- Michael Scott

"Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for."

- Kelly Kapoor

"Boy have you done lost your mind, 'cause I'll help you find it!"

- Stanley Hudson

"I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different."

- Kelly Kapoor

"I understand nothing."

- Michael Scott

"I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket."

- Kevin Malone

"I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat."

- Pam Beesly

"Uh...nope. Nope. This isn't the surprise. It's surprising because you didn't expect it, but you will...you'll know it when you see it."

- Michael Scott

"I don’t talk trash; I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical like your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You’re ugly, and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there."

- Kelly Kapoor

"yeah, I Have A Lot Of Questions. Number One—how Dare You?"

- Kelly Kapoor

"'r' Is Among The Most Menacing Of Sounds. That's Why They Call It 'murder' And Not 'mukduk.'"

- Dwight Schrute

"Man, Angela really had a hold on him."

- Pam Beesly

"Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train."

- Jim Halpert

"That's what she said."