“A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.”
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Love
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Self-awareness
"I hailed from a tough neighborhood. I was once attacked by a man with a knife. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Courage
"My uncle's dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Adversity
"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Creativity
"Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today."
- Will Rogers
Reflection
"Life is like a sewer … what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
- Tom Lehrer
Reflection
"I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done."
- Lucille Ball
Reflection
"Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know."
- Pema Chodron
Reflection
"Happy Tuesday! It is a good day to reflect on the week so far and spread happiness."
Reflection