What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol’ man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."

- Rodney Dangerfield

Love

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

- Rodney Dangerfield

Self-awareness

"I hailed from a tough neighborhood. I was once attacked by a man with a knife. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it."

- Rodney Dangerfield

Courage

"My uncle's dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

- Rodney Dangerfield

Adversity

"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."

- Rodney Dangerfield

Creativity

More Joy Quotes

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"Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance."

- Anne Lamott

Joy

"Tuesdays are for chasing rainbows and dancing in the rain."

Joy

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness."

Joy

"Taste and see how good the Lord is! The one who takes refuge in him is truly happy!"

Joy

"The joy of brightening other lives becomes for us the magic of the holidays."

- W. C. Jones

Joy