"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing."

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"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age — as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."

- Phyllis Diller

Love

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then, I want to move in with them."

- Phyllis Diller

Love

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

Balance

"What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

Happiness

"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."

- Phyllis Diller

Happiness

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"It is at the moment of death that humanity has value."

- Archer

Philosophy

"Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love or just because… No matter how pathetic the reason, it’s enough to start a war. War will never cease to exist… reasons can be thought up after the fact… Human nature pursues strife."

- Paine

Philosophy

"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves."

- Eric Sevareid

Philosophy

"Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

- Theodor Seuss Geisel

Philosophy

"Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home."

- G.K. Chesterton

Philosophy