If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age — as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."

- Phyllis Diller

Love

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then, I want to move in with them."

- Phyllis Diller

Love

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

Balance

"What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

Happiness

"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."

- Phyllis Diller

Happiness

More Motivation Quotes

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"Hustle hard baby girl."

Motivation

"Stop snoozing your alarm."

Motivation

"Results on. Excuses off."

Motivation

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."

- Arthur Ashe

Motivation

"Your most important work is always ahead of you, never behind you."

- Stephen Covey

Motivation