The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

More quotes by George Carlin

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"Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

- George Carlin

Awareness

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more of they get older; then it dawned on me they are cramming for their final exam."

- George Carlin

Awareness

More Religion Quotes

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"A brand for a company is like a reputation for a person. You earn reputation by trying to do hard things well."

- Jeff Bezos

Religion

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

- Psalm 118:24

Religion

"May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts this Sunday."

- Philippians 4:7

Religion

"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!"

- Psalm 150:6

Religion

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

- Psalm 37:4

Religion