I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that I’m listening to it.

More quotes by George Carlin

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"Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

- George Carlin

Awareness

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more of they get older; then it dawned on me they are cramming for their final exam."

- George Carlin

Awareness

More Positivity Quotes

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"Be a positive energy trampoline—absorb what you need and rebound more back."

- Dave Carolan

Positivity

"Surround yourself with positive messages!"

Positivity

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

- Winnie the Pooh

Positivity

"Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day."

- Dalai Lama

Positivity

"If you’re not positive energy, you’re negative energy."

- Mark Cuban

Positivity