The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

More quotes by George Carlin

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"Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

- George Carlin

Awareness

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

- George Carlin

Awareness

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more of they get older; then it dawned on me they are cramming for their final exam."

- George Carlin

Awareness

More Joy Quotes

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"Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance."

- Anne Lamott

Joy

"Tuesdays are for chasing rainbows and dancing in the rain."

Joy

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness."

Joy

"Taste and see how good the Lord is! The one who takes refuge in him is truly happy!"

Joy

"The joy of brightening other lives becomes for us the magic of the holidays."

- W. C. Jones

Joy