Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.

More quotes by George Burns

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"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there."

- George Burns

Love

"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there."

- George Burns

Love

""Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.""

- George Burns

Happiness

""I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.""

- George Burns

Happiness

"The most important thing about acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

- George Burns

Integrity

More Self-awareness Quotes

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"Beauty is not about physical perfection, but about authenticity and confidence."

- Beauty and the Beast

Self-awareness

"Beauty is found in the unique qualities that make us who we are."

- Beauty and the Beast

Self-awareness

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

- Lily Tomlin

Self-awareness

"Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears."

- Laird Hamilton

Self-awareness

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."

Self-awareness