Hilarious and Motivational: The Ultimate Collection of Funny Running Inspirational Quotes

"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up."

- Dean Karnazes

"I don’t run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days."

- Ronald Rook

"It hurts, but that’s all it does. The most difficult part of the training is training your mind. You build calluses on your feet to endure the road. You build calluses on your mind to endure the pain. There’s only one way to do that. You have to get out there and run."

- David Goggins

"Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two."

- Barney Stinson

"Run like hell and get the agony over with."

- Clarence DeMar

"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."

- Jimmy Fallon

"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."

- Oprah Winfrey

"There are many challenges to long-distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."

- Gabrielle Zevin

"It gets easier. Every day, it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part."

- The running baboon from Bojack Horseman

"Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts."

- Steve Prefontaine

"I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster."

- Robin Williams

"Running is a lot like life. Only 10 percent of it is exciting. 90 percent of it is slog and drudge."

- Dave Bedford

"No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."

- Don Kardong

"I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty."

- Wendy Liebman

"If you’ve never had a bad day running, you’re probably doing something wrong. If you’ve never had a good day running, you’re definitely doing something wrong."

- Mark Remy

"I am a running joke. Waking up at 4:30 am and jogging anywhere from 11 to 23 miles has been nothing short of horrifying."

- Ryan Reynolds

"The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back."

- Franklin P. Jones

"Running a marathon is not a question of whether it will be painful, but when it will be painful. It does help to have a sense of humor, but I’m also respectful of the race."

- Will Ferrell

"I trained 4 years to run only 9 seconds. There are people who do not see results in two months, give up and quit."

- Usain Bolt

"The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."

- John Bingham

"In running, it doesn’t matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, ‘I have finished.’ There is a lot of satisfaction in that."

- Fred Lebow

"Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!"

- Jillian Michaels

"If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."

- Don Kardong

"If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal."

- Rob de Castella

"My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already."

- Milton Berle

"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."

- Rita Rudner

"If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise."

- P.Z. Pearce

"Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."

- Charles Schulz

"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."

- Erma Bombeck

"I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty."

- Wendy Liebman

"I choose the things that I want to do, and they all revolve around one thing: food. Even my running has to do with food. I run to stay in shape so I can eat what I want."

- Bobby Flay

"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."

- Bill Dellinger

"I don't believe in jogging. It extends your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging."

- Marshall Brickman

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."

- William James

"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."

- Franklin Jones

"There is magic in misery. Just ask any runner."

- Dean Karnazes

"Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much, much harder."

- Glennon Doyle

"I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."

- Bill Kirby

"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."

- Martin Mull

"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."

- Gene Thibeault

"Life is short. Running makes it seem longer."

- Baron Hansen

"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."

- Victoria Wood

"It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it."

- Brooks Johnson

"I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street."

- Neil Armstrong

"Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile. So this morning he said to me “We’re going to go five.” I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.” He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it. ” I said “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.” So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go any more and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run any more,”—and we’re still running—“if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.” He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles. Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, ‘“Why did you say that?” He said, “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”"

- Bruce Lee (as recounted)

"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves."

- Sir Edmund Hillary

"Shut up legs"

- Jens Voight

"Every marathon I ran, I knew I had a faster one in me."

- Dick Beardsley

"Running is the quickest endorphin hit I can get. I like to do it really early in the morning, before everyone gets up. It gives me a clear head and sort of resets the clock. It’s like, 'OK, I got that out of the way. Now I can deal with people.'"

- Julie Bowen

"There's a great empowerment that I get from running, not only from the endorphins . . . Being a runner, to me, has made being depressed impossible. If ever I'm going through something emotional and just go outside for a run, you can rest assured that I'll come back with clarity and empowerment."

- Alanis Morissette

"Exercise is like meditation for me. And I'm giving myself that time . . . I cannot live without it now. When you have such a good workout, it clears everything up mentally, physically, and you just have a better day."

- Minka Kelly

"I like what it does for my mind. If I've had a bad day, if I'm feeling stressed out, if I'm feeling overwhelmed — it takes it all away. It's my antidote for everything. If I feel any sort of emotional upheaval, I go for a jog and I feel better."

- Kelly Ripa

"I love running but I think you have to find a workout routine that really speaks to you beyond trying to get goals for your body. For me, running, I need it as much for my head and to clear my head as I do for keeping in shape."

- Meghan Markle

"It makes me feel like I can conquer anything that comes at me. I’m never tapped out. I’m never tired around my two kids. I owe a lot of that to running."

- Travis Barker

"Don't be afraid to fail. It's not the end of the world and in many ways, it's the first step toward learning something better and getting better at it."

- Jon Hamm

"Fast running isn't forced. You have to relax and let the run come out of you."

- Desiree Linden

"There are clubs you can’t belong to, neighbors you can’t live in, schools you can’t get into, but the roads are always open."

- NIKE

"Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."

- Charles M. Schultz

"Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies."

- Amanda Brooks

"Running a marathon felt like I played in a very rough football game with no hitting above the waist."

- Alan Page

"It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him."

- Mike Royko

"Long distance running is 90% mental and the other half is physical."

- Rich Hall

"Start slow, then taper off."

- Walt Stack

"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."

- Marty Stern

"Running is the basis of all the training that I do...it's like an escape."

- Ellie Goulding

"To me, sweat is workout bliss."

- Brooke Burke-Charvet

"Running is my alone time. I have people around me all the time, all day. The only time I have alone is when I’m running, or when I’m at church. Running’s easier to fit in."

- Mario Lopez

"Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas."

- Esa Tikkannen

"We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

- Will Rogers

"It gave me a natural endorphin high, but it also helped me sleep, so it was perfect. It’s easy to understand how people replace addiction with exercise."

- Eminem

"Running has been my main form of exercise. I've been running five or six days a week. I love it."

- Natalie Coughlin

"I remember looking at the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge and thinking, ‘What have I signed up for here?’ It's one of those things where you're like, ‘Okay, here we go!’ Your corral starts off and you start running, and I guess the adrenaline kind of gets you going, and you're literally off to the races; you're fine."

- Al Roker

"I never listen to music when I run – I listen to the beat of my heart. I like to feel the blood pumping in my veins. If I’m running for a long time, I take my hydration pack. I like to disappear up a mountain or into the woods and come back two hours later."

- Fred Sirieux

"Oh, God. This ultrathon was a huge mistake! I just want to die!"

- TravelWellTraveled

"I always run without music. Being disconnected is what I'm addicted to more than anything. There aren't many places where you can be without your phone and computer. I've started to crave and enjoy that time alone."

- Christy Turlington

"Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired."

- Sandra Bullock

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

- M. Kathleen Casey

"26.2 miles is a helluva long way for everything to go right and a helluva long way for just one thing to go wrong. Legs feed the wolf. Pain is weakness leaving your body. Run the mile you're on. Some days my best is a PR, others it's just putting one foot in front of the other"

"I don’t have to go for a run, I get to go for a run"

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

"The quicker you run, the quicker you’re done."

"Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."

"Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."

"Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first."

"It's a hill. Get over it."

"Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."

"Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up."

"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."

"The first mile is a warm up. Mile two is a prick."

"If found on ground, please drag to finish line."

"The first mile is a lie"

"I often hear someone say I’m not a real runner. We are all runners, some just run faster than others. I’ve never met a fake runner."

"One run can change your day, many runs can change your life."

"Just stick with it. What seems hard now will one day be your warm-up."

"Run like you stole something."

"It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."

"Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you."

"Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet."

"I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training."

"Pain is weakness leaving your body."

"Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one."

"If you still look cute after working out, you didn't go hard enough."

"I’ve got 99 problems, so I went on a run to ignore them all."

"A good laugh and a long run are the two best cures for anything."

- Unknown

"Hills don’t go away. They wait."

"Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run."