Relationships Quotes

"There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage."

- James Holt McGavran

"I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t."

- Patrick Murray

"Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway."

- Joey Adams

"I have a theory of relatives too. Don’t hire them."

- Jack L. Warner

"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here."

- Stephen Bishop

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

- Sacha Guitry

"They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."

- Clint Eastwood

"I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it."

- Groucho Marx

"We get married to have an ally against our family."

- Jonathan Tropper

"Marriage is a wonderful institution … but who wants to live in an institution?"

- Groucho Marx

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished."

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Marry me, and I’ll never look at another horse!"

- Groucho Marx

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

- Robin Williams

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!"

- Billy Connolly

"Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’."

- Robin Williams

"By the time you realize your mother was right, you have a daughter who thinks that you’re wrong."

- Sada Malhotra

"There were times when…I didn’t have a lot of friends. But my mom was always my friend. Always."

- Taylor Swift

"I am in a long distance relationship. It’s been six months since I met my mom."

- Leena Duwadi

"A mom is a daughter’s ‘first’ friend. And, through life, becomes her best friend."

- Vicki Reece

"She's my best friend—she's everything to me. It's always just been me and her against the world."

- Jacquelyn Middleton

"They say you can’t turn a bad girl good, but once a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever."

- Jay-Z

"There's someone for everyone and that person for you is a psychiatrist."

"I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you."

- Unknown

"You know what I like about people? Their dogs."

"I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you knew everything."

- Unknown

"I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"

- Unknown

"My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly 'we need to talk'."

"Find your patience before I lose mine."

"You will meet two kinds of people in life: ones who build you up and ones who tear you down. But in the end, you’ll thank them both."

"To have good friends, you need to be one."