Happiness Quotes

"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."

- Phyllis Diller

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

- Elbert Hubbard

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."

- Dave Barry

"When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

- Ron White

"Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping."

- Bo Derek

"And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

- Ron White

"I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning."

- George Costanza, Seinfeld

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey

"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have."

- Roger Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

"Be happy, it drives people crazy."

- Paulo Coelho

"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way."

- Charles Bukowski

"Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny."

- Stephen Hawking

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems."

- Homer Simpson

"Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine."

- Lord Byron

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

- Charlie Chaplin

"Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else."

- Will Rogers

"Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube."

- Joan Rivers

"Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!"

- Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants

"It’s a party in the U.S.A."

- Miley Cyrus

"It’s Fourth of July weekend, or as I call it, exploding Christmas."

- Stephen Colbert

"Americans will put up with anything, provided it doesn’t block traffic."

- Dan Rather

"America’s a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out."

- Louis C. K.

"Today is the 4th of July, when we honor the day that Uncle Sam chopped down Benedict Arnold at the Alamo. Happy hot dogs!"

- Stephen Colbert

"Let’s kick the tires and light the fires, big daddy!"

- Captain Jimmy Wilder, “Independence Day”

"Just found out that every Fourth of July, the British celebrate, ‘We Dodged a Bullet Day.’"

- Conan O'Brien

"It’s birthday time again, and wow! You’re a whole year older now! So clown around and have some fun to make this birthday your best one. Happy birthday!"

"Just wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers. So, happy birthday!"

"Congratulations on being even more experienced. I’m not sure what you learned this year, but every experience transforms us into the people we are today. Happy birthday!"

"When the little kids ask how old you are at your party, you should go ahead and tell them. While they’re distracted trying to count that high, you can steal a bite of their cake! Happy birthday!"

"Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet."