Family Quotes

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

- George Carlin

"Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes."

- P.J. O'Rourke

"This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little and broken, but still good."

- Stitch

"The most precious gift you can give is your presence. Material things fade, but the time spent with loved ones creates lasting memories."

- Eleanor

"The laughter of grandchildren and the echoes of their excitement as they unwrap presents bring a touch of magic to the season, keeping the spirit of youth alive in all of us."

- Albert

"During the holidays, we bridge the gap between generations, sharing stories and passing down traditions that connect us through time."

- Mildred

"La familia no es algo importante. Lo es todo."

- Michael J. Fox

"No es la carne ni la sangre, sino el corazón lo que nos hace familia."

- Friedrich Schiller

"For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."

- Jesus

""You don’t have to be famous. You just have to make your mother and father proud of you, and you already have.""

- Meryl Streep

"Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts."

- Wayne Huizenga

"The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families."

- Jay McInerney

"Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! It’s the day you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family."

- Jimmy Fallon

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too much."

- Johnny Carson

"I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car."

- Stephen Colbert

"It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring."

- Timothy Burke

"I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving."

- Craig Ferguson

"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations."

- Oscar Wilde

"Happy Thanksgiving! This year I’m thankful that your family is so annoying you’re checking Twitter instead of talking to them."

- Stephen Colbert

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."

- Erma Bombeck

"You know, maybe this will be a good Thanksgiving. Just us and the kids. You cook and I’ll watch football with my pants open all day."

- Ray Romano

"The most important thing in the world is family and love."

- John Wooden

"I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending."

- Jack Whitehall

"I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are."

- Damien Fahey

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them."

- Phyllis Diller

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out."

- Erma Bombeck

"Esta familia es el mejor regalo que la vida me ha dado."

"Familia… donde comienza la vida y el amor nunca termina."

"Mi familia: un poco loca, un poco ruidosa, y con mucho amor."

"Thanks Mom and Dad! I couldn’t have done it without you!"