P. J. O’Rourke

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going."

- P. J. O’Rourke

"The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."

- P. J. O’Rourke

"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."

- P. J. O’Rourke