Ogden Nash

"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up."

- Ogden Nash

"Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them."

- Ogden Nash

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

- Ogden Nash

""Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.""

- Ogden Nash

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

- Ogden Nash

"If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."

- Ogden Nash

"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up."

- Ogden Nash

""You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.""

- Ogden Nash

"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you."

- Ogden Nash

""You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." —Ogden Nash"

- Ogden Nash

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."

- Ogden Nash

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

- Ogden Nash

"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."

- Ogden Nash

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."

- Ogden Nash

"When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window."

- Ogden Nash

"There is something about a Martini, A tingle remarkably pleasant: A yellow, a mellow Martini: I wish I had one at present."

- Ogden Nash

"Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!"

- Ogden Nash

"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

- Ogden Nash