Henny Youngman

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

- Henny Youngman

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

- Henny Youngman

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

- Henny Youngman

"“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”"

- Henny Youngman

"We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops."

- Henny Youngman

"How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'"

- Henny Youngman

"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."

- Henny Youngman

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."

- Henny Youngman

"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."

- Henny Youngman