"Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos."

- Stanley Hudson

"It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave."

- Stanley Hudson

"I have a dream, and it's not some MLK dream of equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press and launch that lighthouse into space."

- Stanley Hudson

"I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day."

- Stanley Hudson

"It’s true. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die."

- Stanley Hudson