"Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen." ―Jim Gaffigan

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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"Without Valentine’s Day, February would be… well, January."

- Jim Gaffigan

Love

"Without Valentine’s Day, February would be...well, January."

- Jim Gaffigan

Love

"Without Valentine's Day, February would be...well, January."

- Jim Gaffigan

Love

"Summer vacation does kind of set up an adulthood of disappointment. That first job, you’re like, ‘I have to go to work in July? What is this, Russia?’"

- Jim Gaffigan

Awareness

"Halloween is just finals week for parents."

- Jim Gaffigan

Balance

More Positivity Quotes

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"Be a positive energy trampoline—absorb what you need and rebound more back."

- Dave Carolan

Positivity

"Surround yourself with positive messages!"

Positivity

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

- Winnie the Pooh

Positivity

"Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day."

- Dalai Lama

Positivity

"If you’re not positive energy, you’re negative energy."

- Mark Cuban

Positivity