"I cherish the occasions when my daughter manages to do something for the first time, or does something better than she’s ever done it before. But I try to resist the knee-jerk tendency to say, ‘Good job!’ because I don’t want to dilute her joy. I want her to share her pleasure with me, not look to me for a verdict. I want her to exclaim, ‘I did it!’ (which she often does) instead of asking me uncertainly, ‘Was that good?’"

- Alfie Kohn

"Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions."

- Alfie Kohn

"I cherish the occasions when my daughter manages to do something for the first time, or does something better than she's ever done it before. But I try to resist the knee-jerk tendency to say, 'Good job!' because I don't want to dilute her joy. I want her to share her pleasure with me, not look to me for a verdict. I want her to exclaim, 'I did it!' (which she often does) instead of asking me uncertainly, 'Was that good?"

- Alfie Kohn

"Kids bullied into obeying parents and teachers may resist – not because they’re ‘hard to handle’ but because they’ve been treated as a thing to be handled."

- Alfie Kohn

"The way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions, not following directions."

- Alfie Kohn