Fran Lebowitz

"Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one."

- Fran Lebowitz

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

- Fran Lebowitz

"Think before you speak. Read before you think."

- Fran Lebowitz

"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."

- Fran Lebowitz

"You’re only as good as your last haircut."

- Fran Lebowitz

"Thirty is, after all, the new twenty, unless you are too young to understand this joke in which case it's the old forty-five."

- Fran Lebowitz

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."

- Fran Lebowitz

"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky."

- Fran Lebowitz