David D. Burns

"Much everyday anger results when we confuse our own personal wants with general moral codes. When you get mad at someone and you claim they are acting “unfairly,” more often than not what is really going on is that they are acting “fairly” relative to a set of standards and a frame of reference that is different from yours."

- David D. Burns

"Inappropriate should and shouldn’t statements […] feed your anger. When you find that some people’s actions are not to your liking, you tell yourself they “shouldn’t” have done what they did, or they “should have” done something they failed to do […] When you insist on perfection from others, you will make yourself miserable."

- David D. Burns

"Another distortion characteristic of anger-generating thoughts is mind reading – you invent motives that explains to your satisfaction why the other person did what he or she did. These hypotheses are frequently erroneous because they will not describe the actual thoughts and perceptions that motivated the other person."

- David D. Burns

"You don’t have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem; all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice."

- David D. Burns

"Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life."

- David D. Burns