You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

More quotes by W.C. Fields

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"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill."

- W.C. Fields

Belief

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

- W.C. Fields

Happiness

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

- W.C. Fields

Motivation

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."

- W.C. Fields

Self-esteem

"If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon."

- W.C. Fields

Aspirations

More Philosophy Quotes

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"It is at the moment of death that humanity has value."

- Archer

Philosophy

"Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love or just because… No matter how pathetic the reason, it’s enough to start a war. War will never cease to exist… reasons can be thought up after the fact… Human nature pursues strife."

- Paine

Philosophy

"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves."

- Eric Sevareid

Philosophy

"Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

- Theodor Seuss Geisel

Philosophy

"Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home."

- G.K. Chesterton

Philosophy