"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4th, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism."

- Erma Bombeck

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' It is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

- Erma Bombeck

"Worry is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere."

- Erma Bombeck

"Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain loving one another."

- Erma Bombeck

"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."

- Erma Bombeck