The Best Inspirational Quotes from Ted Lasso: A Memorable Collection

"Ted is more of a white rabbit than a white knight. He sort of leads you to the thing and leads by example"

- Jason Sudeikis

"When I was first coming up through Sunderland, there was an old-timer on the team. Local guy. He and his wife were about to have their first kid, so during training one day, I made a joke that, statistically, I was probably the real dad. And the boys fell about laughing, but he went f*cking nuts. He battered me. Properly. I had a black eye, chipped tooth, three broken ribs. I couldn’t play for six games. He got booted off the team. After that, no club would go near him. Then in the summer, after I could breathe again, I bumped into him in a pub. And I got the chance to say sorry for my stupid f*cking joke. And he got to tell me... he and his wife had lost the baby... a month before all that went down. He hadn’t told anyone. Kept it all inside. Look, I get that some people think if they buy a ticket, they’ve got the right to yell whatever abusive shit they want at footballers. But they’re not just footballers. They’re also people. And none of us know what is going on in each other’s lives. So for Isaac to do what he did today, even though it was wrong... I give him love. And as for why he did what he did... that’s none of my f*cking business."

- Roy

"Well, you know what I wanna mess around with? The belief that I matter, you know? Regardless of what I do or don’t achieve. Or the belief that we all deserve to be loved, whether we’ve been hurt or maybe we’ve hurt somebody else. Or what about the belief of hope? Yeah? That’s what I wanna mess with. Believing that things can get better. That I can get better. That we will get better. Oh, man. To believe in yourself. To believe in one another. Man, that’s... that’s fundamental to being alive."

- Ted

"Mm-mmm, no. You ain’t giving him anything. When you choose to do that, you’re giving that to yourself."

- Ted

"A good mentor hopes you will move on. A great mentor knows you will."

- Higgins

"If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"

- RuPaul

"So I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. ‘It’s the hope that kills you.’ Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief."

- Ted Lasso

"For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field."

- Ted Lasso

"Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing"

- Ted

"You know, Jamie, if hating your Pops ain’t motivating you like it used to, it might be time to try something different. Just forgive him."

- Ted

"Most of the time change is a good thing and I think that’s what it’s all about–embracing change, being brave, doing whatever you have to so everyone in your life can move forward with theirs."

- Ted

"If you care about someone, and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through together."

- Ted

"Don’t sell yourself short. If anything, sell yourself tall and get it tailored later."

- Ted

"Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn't it? If you're comfortable while you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong."

- Ted Lasso

"So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. 'It's the hope that kills you.' Y'all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you."

- Ted Lasso

"I shouldn’t bring an umbrella to a brainstorm."

- Ted

"Be curious, not judgmental."

- Walt Whitman

"Human beings are never gonna be perfect, Roy. The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you’ll always be moving towards better."

- Higgins

"If we’re gonna make an impact here, the first domino needs to fall right inside of that man’s heart"

- Ted

"I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments, but rather by the strength we show when and if we’re ever given a second chance."

- Ted

"You say impossible, but all I hear is 'I'm possible.'"

- Ted Lasso

"I want you to be grateful that you’re going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain’t nobody in this room alone. Let’s be sad now. Let’s be sad together."

- Ted

"Isn’t the idea of ‘never give up’ one of them things we always talk about in sports? And shouldn’t that apply to people too?"

- Ted

"It may not work out how you think it will or how you hope it does. But believe me, it will all work out."

- Ted Lasso

"You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? Got a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam."

- Ted

"I want you to be grateful that you're going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain't nobody in this room alone. Let's be sad now. Let's be sad together."

- Ted Lasso

"Just listen to your gut, and on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what."

- Ted Lasso

"I know folks like to say, “There’s no place like home.” That’s true. You know. Man, there ain’t a whole lot of places like AFC Richmond either"

- Ted

"Ain’t nothing to it but to do it"

- Ted

"I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we."

- Ted Lasso

"You know how they say that 'youth is wasted on the young'? Well, I say don't let the wisdom of age be wasted on you."

- Ted Lasso

"I think things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one."

- Ted Lasso

"If you’re with the right person, even the hard times are easy."

- Higgins

"As the man once said, 'The harder you work, the luckier you get.'"

- Ted Lasso

"I try to love my Dad for who he is and forgive him for who he isn’t."

- Higgins

"Living in the moment, it’s a gift. That’s why they call it the present."

- Ted Lasso

"Y’all got to get together and woman up."

- Ted

"You know how they say that ‘youth is wasted on the young’? Well, I say don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you."

- Ted

"Most of the time change is a good thing and I think that’s what it’s all about–embracing change, being brave, doing whatever you have to so everyone in your life can move forward with theirs, and maybe it’s the only way you can truly make her be happy."

- Ted Lasso

"I feel like I fell out of the lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down and landed in a pool full of cash and sour patch kids"

- Ted

"Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing."

- Ted Lasso

"You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. Y'know why? It's got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish."

- Ted Lasso

"I think one of the neatest things about being a coach is the connection you get to make with your players. That's a loss that hits me a lot harder and is gonna stay with me a lot longer than anything that happens while playing a game on a patch of grass."

- Ted Lasso

"It’s not about me. Never was."

- Ted

"To the family we’re born with and the family we make along the way!"

- Higgins

"Rupert was a horrible man who built an ivory tower he kept you captive in. But you climbed every single step of that tower on your own."

- Sassy

"Don’t you dare settle for “fine”. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by f&(k!ng lightning!"

- Roy

"For some, it’s better to follow your gut than pretend to be excited by following someone else’s."

- Mae

"I don’t think we change per se, as much as we just... learn to accept who we’ve always been, you know?"

- Trent

"Change isn’t about trying to be perfect. Perfection sucks. Perfect is boring."

- Beard

"A lot of times the right idea is just sitting behind a couple of the wrong ones."

- Ted

"Anger will only weaken you. Yeah. Okay. But if you really want to piss off the people who did this, forgive them."

- Sam's Dad

"Don’t fight back. Fight forward."

- Sam's Dad

"Look, let me ask you one question. You’re a great man. Does Jane make you greater?"

- Higgins

"Humility is not about thinking less of yourself, it is about thinking about yourself less."

- Nate's Dad

"It’s funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they’re now gone."

- Ted

"Pain is like carbon monoxide. Expressing it to the person who hurt you is like opening a vent, but holding it in will poison you."

- Beard

"Sometimes you have to do the right thing, even if you lose."

- Nora

"Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong."

- Ted Lasso

"That you won’t like my idea and it makes you hate me. Then you fire me. Then I have to move back in with my parents and they’ll be ashamed of me. Then everyone finds out back home and laughs at me until my face melts off. Excuse me."

- Nate

"I do believe in second chances, Ted. That’s why I’m still married, and all my sons are alive."

- Higgins

"I like the idea of someone becoming rich, because of what they gave to the world. Not just because of who their family is"

- Sam

"He thinks he’s mad now, wait till we win him over"

- Ted

"I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts"

- Ted

"You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't wanna hear it."

- Ted Lasso

"If God wanted games to end in a tie, She wouldn't have invented numbers, all right?"

- Ted Lasso

"Doubt can only be removed by action"

- Dr. Sharon

"Dream big, and you may never wake up"

- Zava

"Explore the world. More importantly, explore yourself."

- Rebecca's Mum

"I know we can’t fix every ache inside of us. But I shouldn’t have to pretend it’s not there either."

- Colin

"Just because we own these teams doesn’t mean they belong to us."

- Rebecca

"Stop looking for the answer and let the answer come to you."

- Sam's Dad

"That anger doesn’t come out anymore when you play. But it’s still in there. And I’m afraid of what it’s gonna do to you if you just keep it all for yourself."

- Nate

"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off."

- Gloria Steinem

"Tried something new. It didn’t work. Big whoop."

- Ted

"You need to stop letting yesterday get in the way of today."

- Rebecca

"I can diagnose myself in a heartbeat. I thought being invulnerable would protect me, so I pushed people away for years, leading me directly to my greatest fear: Being alone."

- Rebecca

"We’re a team, ain’t we? Gotta wear the same kit"

- Jamie

"Ted Lasso is a vibe"

- Jason Sudeikis

"Mom, I want you in my hair. Okay? I want you in my friends’ and coworkers’ hair. Now, please. Come on with"

- Ted

"God bless me, every one"

- Jamie

"Heavy is the head that wears the visor, Coach Lasso. You must have a lot on your mind."

- Dr. Sharon

"This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I’d hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able take my eyes off of it either."

- Ted Lasso

"[On assuming the worst] You should find out before you flip out"

- Higgins

"As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get."

- Ted Lasso

"I’ve learned so much about myself in this last year, and I’ve been right all along, you know. I really am exceptional."

- Rebecca's Mum

"You know what I say about cats, babies and apologies…..gotta let ‘em come to you."

- Ted

"We got relegated when I was at Cardiff, my family’s team. My nana never spoke to me after that, just left me a box of sh!t in her will."

- Colin

"I can’t be your mentor without occasionally being your tormentor."

- Dr. Sharon

"If you put your energy into the things you truly love, the universe puts its thing back into you. You’re welcome."

- Zava

"If the Lasso way is wrong, it’s hard to imagine being right."

- Trent Crim, The Independent

"Coach, I got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore."

- Ted Lasso

"You used to run like you were angry at the grass! You’d kick the ball like you caught it fucking your wife, for Christ’s sake!"

- Nate

"You know what you do with tough cookies, don’t ya? Dip ‘em in milk."

- Ted

"Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas"

- Jamie

"I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there you’re just one in 11."

- Ted Lasso

"That is the thing about being a parent. Sometimes you lose and... sometimes you win, but most of the time you just tie. All we can do is keep playing."

- Ted's Mum

"You’re not lost, my sexy little baby. You’re just not sure which direction you’re going in... yet."

- Jamie's Mum

"When I went to Sunderland, my granddad told me he’d teach me how to ride when I came back for Christmas, and then he f*cking d*ed and I haven’t been on a bike since. And now I’m saying that out loud, I realize that never learning was actually a great disrespect to his memory and now I feel ashamed. So can we stop talking about it and go back to me just taking out my negative emotions on you, even if you deserve it or not?"

- Roy

"I do love a locker room. It smells like potential."

- Ted Lasso

"The world is full of evil people who do sh!tty things. But I can’t deal with that because I have to kick a little ball around. W-Which those same people love me for! That is until I f*ck up or... or I miss a penalty. Or... Or... Or I... I decide to fight back... and then they’re just gonna wanna ship me back wherever I f*cking came from."

- Sam

"For the past year, I’ve busted my f*cking ass trying to change. But apparently, I haven’t done f*cking shit ‘cause... I’m still me."

- Roy

"It’s an emotional version of color blindness where a person interprets red flags as giant green, just-f*cking-go-for-it flags."

- Keeley

"Most adults think kids need to be constantly entertained. It’s bullshit. I didn’t need a f*cking parade every day growing up, did you? Truth is they just wanna feel like they’re part of our lives."

- Roy

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear."

- Chinese philosopher, Laozi

"They f*ck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do."

- Mae

"What do you have to be sad about? Did one of the Paw Patrol dogs die?"

- Roy

"Jane and I took a big step forward in our relationship this weekend. We are now sharing an iCloud account."

- Beard

"Where’s she going? Somewhere that believes they deserve her."

- Rebecca

"There is something I should warn you of. I’m only gonna get more wonderful."

- Sam

"I always thought that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? …I was right. It’s horrible. No, thank you."

- Ted

"Little tip for y’all. Fries are called chips. Chips are called crisps. And bangers aren’t great songs, but they do make you feel like dancing because they’re so darn tasty."

- Ted Lasso

"Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage water. I don’t know why y’all do that."

- Ted

"Be honest with me. It’s a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren’t around, y’all know it tastes like garbage? You don’t love it. It’s pigeon sweat."

- Ted

"Y’all got a town here called “Tooting”?!"

- Ted

"As long as none of that tree piss gets in my mouth."

- Ted

"English breakfast to me is just a pile of a bunch of little, tiny piles, you know?"

- Ted

"We could rent a boat, float down the Thames. They spell it weird, but it is lovely."

- Ted

"That’s like hiding poop inside a smoothie of barf."

- Ted

"Dukes of Hazzard style or as you probably call it, Earls of Risk."

- Ted

"I take it right back to the counter bc there’s been a horrible mistake."

- Ted

"Whenever I text someone over here about money I still spell pounds L-B-S."

- Ted

"No, thank you! I hate tea. Tastes like a wet paper bag."

- Dr. Sharon

"Or half nine as you folks say over here for some goofy-ass reason."

- Ted

"I must say that this is lovely. Ever since I was little, I always used to dream about sitting down with a bunch of mates talking about the complex dynamics between men and women"

- Nate

"If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later."

- Ted Lasso

"You couldn’t fu*cking build... JEFF bridges"

- Roy

"You’ve gotta let Ted be Ted."

- Keeley

"With time, I realized that this thing didn’t happen to me, it happened for me."

- The flying dutchman

"It’s kind of like back in the 80s when ‘bad’ meant ‘good.’"

- Ted Lasso

"Crying is the best, isn’t it? It’s like an orgasm for the soul"

- Rebecca

"Look, sometimes the truth can ruin a perfectly good story."

- Rebecca

"You sure you don’t wanna headbutt me? I think it might make us feel better."

- Nate

"This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I’m like, it’s f*cking walnut mist, mate."

- Jamie

"This is Mascot Idol: Semifinals. One of these two contestants will be our new mascot. Will it be Macy Greyhound or Tina Feyhound?"

- Higgins

"Mind your dog! He hates that sweater!"

- Dr. Sharon

"Ted, it’s Sharon. I can’t come to the phone right now. But if you want to talk my ear off about some bullshit because you’re too afraid to properly emote, leave a message. BEEEEEP!"

- Dr. Sharon

"[On wearing a outfit with the ‘Juicy” logo on] I like clothes that tell the truth."

- Barbara

"Flowers are for two things, Ms. Jones. Dead people and dead marriages."

- Barbara

"[On knowing he was gay from a young age] Once I was out of my mum, I never looked back."

- Colin

"Just because they’re dirty doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have a friend."

- Dani

"I would like to see a tulip. [...] Just one tulip. An entire field will be incredibly overwhelming."

- Dani

"Now start touching your toes! Touch your toes! Those are your feet fingers. Let’s go, dummies. Touch your toes. And touch each other’s toes!"

- Led Tasso

"I hope y’all drank a lot of water today ‘cause y’all are gonna be so dehydrated, that you’re gonna look like one of them trees from a... from a Tim Burton movie."

- Led Tasso

"No video games before bedtime. Unless it’s Animal Crossing. That sh!t’s f*ckin’ soothing."

- Isaac

"[On being told she had a cute head] Thank you. I got it from my father."

- Jade

"[When meeting someone unsavoury] It’s worthwhile to meet you."

- Jade

"But luckily our spirits were already broken."

- Jan Maas

"I teach kids. I don’t mind cleaning up a mess."

- Ms Bowen

"Hey guys, Jan Maas is not being rude, he’s just being Dutch."

- Sam

"So what’s Marlboro Man’s story, then? ‘Cause I kinda wanna grab him by the ears and ride that little mustache like a Jet Ski."

- Sassy

"Shouting is Roy’s love language."

- Trent

"You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football."

- Ted Lasso

"If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously."

- Ted Lasso

"A palace made out of crystal seems mighty fragile to me."

- Ted Lasso

"Call me old one more time."

- Roy Kent

"Sam was more open than the jar of peanut butter on my counter."

- Ted Lasso

"I’m sort of famous for being almost famous."

- Keeley Jones

"A fax machine, hey? Are you sending something to the year 1997?"

- Sassy

"That Rebecca is an intimidating and very tall woman."

- Keeley Jones

"Never forget, I am always inside you."

- Zava

"Ted Lasso is driving me fucking crazy. He refuses to open up and when he gets anywhere close to being vulnerable, he fires off a zinger or some obscure reference to something very specific to a 40 year old white man from middle America."

- Dr. Sharon

"I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me"

- Keeley

"[On whether Jack is short for Jaqueline] No. It’s short for my father wanted a boy."

- Jack

"The baklava is sublime...Yeah, I don’t... Um... For some reason, whenever I’m trying to impress someone, I end up sounding like my gran."

- Nate

"I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right."

- Ted Lasso

"I just don’t really enjoy baths, just ‘cause my skin gets really wrinkly, and I’m deeply afraid of aging."

- Nate

"[On Facebook] That’s just for grandparents and r*cist now"

- Barbara

"Oh, please. The Eiffel Tower is just a lamppost with a publicist."

- Rebecca

"[On whether she likes football] Um, I prefer rugby. There’s just more grown men throwing other grown men into the air like children. And blood. Which is nice."

- Barbara

"We got City on Saturday, so we need you to be the prickiest prick you’ve ever been in your little prick life."

- Roy

"Mommy, I’d like to introduce you to Keeley, and this hairy prick’s Roy."

- Jamie

"Your sister is fit. I will cut your eyes out."

- Roy

"He’s an emotionally erratic billionaire with the temperament of one of those kids in Willy Wonka."

- Higgins

"McAdoo to take the penalty? I wouldn’t trust him to take an aspirin."

- Rupert

"I smell your bum from here."

- Kid in Manchester

"Yes"

- Rebecca

"You’re constantly getting beat on the wings. It’s ‘cause you’re indecisive. You second-guess more than a sh!tty psychic. The only African I know more imprisoned by their own thoughts is goddamn Nelson Mandela"

- Nate

"Unfortunately no."

- The flying dutchman

"I hope his kids shiv him in his sleep"

- Mae

"Jamie Tartt is a muppet. And I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little b*tch."

- Roy Kent

"You f*ck off. You’re a hairy old prune."

- Jamie

"You’re a shitty old man with a tiny, shriveled penis. I feel sorry for your wife. Her life must be a constant hell"

- Nora

"Congratulations mother, you’ve just fat-shamed a baby to tears"

- Rebecca

"What is it called when you have the opposite of the Midas touch? MAE: The Midas sh!ts. KEELEY: That’s it. That’s what I have. Everything I touch turns to sh!t. MAE: Sh!t helps things grow, love."

"Only during and after. Never before. Before the match is reserved for anxious vomiting."

"Coach, is it true that you have so many beautiful dogs in pounds that some get put down for no reason? TED: That is true, Sam. But it’s also something a lot of female singer-songwriters are trying to change."

"I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth. Flat."

"I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids."

"You are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51."

"I shouldn't bring an umbrella to a brainstorm."

"I haven't seen someone that disappointed to see me since I wore a red baseball cap to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser."

"I always figured that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it's horrible. No, thank you."

"You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half. And when it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits. I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear?"

"If you would have told me that I’d be drinking tea at 3 o’clock every day, about a year ago… I would have punched you in the mouth."

"I think that if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain't nothing you can't get through together."

"It's funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they're now gone."

"You’re just so convinced that you don’t deserve anything good in your life, that you’d rather eat a bowl of sh!t soup and then complain about the portions. Get out of your own way, man. ‘Cause this whole “woe is me” thing you’ve got going on is just f*cking."

"When Freddie Mercury briefly owned the team in, he tried to make “Fat Bottomed Girls” the team anthem. KEELEY: Did a bunch of people get offended? REBECCA: Just the flat-bottomed girls really."

"Right. I’ve got to go and see a man about a horse. TED: Oh. I didn’t know girls said that when they gotta pee. REBECCA: No, Ted, I’m buying a horse."

"Call me Rebecca, Ms Welton’s my father TED: If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I look forward to unpacking that with you."

"Everything all right, dear? KEELEY: Everything? f*ck no"

"I’m starting to get all these subtle, little hints from Jane. Like, certain magazines left on the coffee table and always hearing about her friends who are doing it. TED: Well, marriage is a big commitment, you know? BEARD: No, I’m talking about pegging."

"Don’t tell me your password was “password,” Jamie. JAMIE: Yeah. Well, to be fair, I did think I’d fool ‘em ‘cause I spelled it with two S’s."

"Oh. Wow, that’s not very nice. “Even with Zava, Richmond eat more arse than your mum.” BEARD: Buddy, you gotta get off Twitter. HIGGINS: This is a text from my father."

"So, I heard some interesting scuttlebutt last night. TED: Ooh. I don’t like gossip, but my butt don’t mind a little scuttle."

"Apparently he wants to play in the Premier League because his wife binge watched The Office and she wants to live in England TED: I think you mean Scranton, Pennsylvania, buddy REBECCA: No, the British Office, Ted TED: That’s right. Y’all did a premake over here."