"I am sixty eight and I am a survivor of domestic abuse. When I was twenty two, my husband was failing at university, flunking the course and not attending lectures. He drank heavily and began taking his misery out on me. He throttled me repeatedly and broke my rib. Everything was my fault. He told me I was a rotten wife (I believed him) and that he had conjugal rights. There were rapes and still I did not leave him. I had nowhere to go as I had left home to escape abuse. I eventually found the courage to leave, walking out a couple of years later with nothing but the clothes on my back, my purse and five pairs of knickers in a plastic bag. No car, no mobile. Nowhere to go but a friend’s sofa. I’ve never felt so alone, but it was the best thing I have ever done. Nothing comes close to the amount of courage that took. My life changed completely, for the better, from that moment. I’m so proud of me. I took far too long to leave. I took far too long to get help. However I did it. And I survived. Everything I have done since, all the successes in my life, started from that moment. I have made a fantastic life for myself. The anger still burns, but I healed. Unfortunately, my history is a familiar tale to so many people reading this. I just wish I could go back and talk to that young girl that I was. What would I say? 1. It is not your fault. 2. Leaving is so hard because your confidence is destroyed, you feel trapped. Nothing will ever feel as bad as this. 3. Phone for help. Tell someone. Phone Aurora New Dawn. Listen; they have ways to keep you and your family safe, and when you are ready, you can escape. 4. You are worth so much more than this. 5. You are not alone. So many people can understand what you are going through, and can help you in all sorts of ways. I started telling a few trusted friends about my early life, as I got older. What amazed me was how many said: “Oh, that happened to me.” 6. You can survive this, and once you have, your life can begin again and you will realise how good life can be ….. and that you can survive anything."
- Valerie – survivor of Domestic Abuse
